She was naked, round belly full of promising life submerging into the Chilkat icy waters ritualizing her path into motherhood. Cloaked as a mountain goat I hugged all that she embodied, deliriously happy on the side of the road. Knee deep in the divine feminine. 

I keep meeting myself. Chance encounters, soft choices barely audible. What if I were to make the biggest move and put all I’ve got into the Universe? So, I did. With the help of my kids being sick, we led ourselves out of the dark into the great I AM. I am this, that, that too, “oh look all of that”. My dance, my creational experience. I cancelled my plans. All of them. 

As a psychic my answer is, “I don’t know” and it might be one of the most powerful stances I can emit/admit. So, I tried my luck and did just that. The knowing will come, I know this. The sense will align itself, I know this. In this pause, I thought I’d feel stuck, controlled by circumstances, but now I just feel… breathable. 

It turns out the pause is just the in-between space. Where all real life is lived. The great divine feminine. 

I didn’t do anything because of anything. For the first time, I reviewed enough life experiences to “cosmic sign fact”. In hindsight what choices could I have made that might have been gentler IF I had what I do now? 

Here’s an example. 

In October we were stuck in Kansas City, MO for the umpteenth time of traveling from Alaska to Georgia-Florida, homeless, jobless while going on many job interviews while traveling to a family member’s small *home to rest and reset. It’s been about 3 weeks of driving in an old 1989 20’ Scooby Doo RV. Ever since the landslide we’ve spent the last of our savings, 401K, and couch money trying to save ourselves. Yet again broken down in places you don’t want to be stranded with children and it’s also your only house left we searched for ways out of this situation. Maybe we’ll fly, just try somehow to get to an airport and fly out of here to my moms? What do we do with the RV, our home? How do we get to the airport when ALL of the car rental places don’t have any vehicles to rent? How can we afford a quick airplane ticket? Final decision was just to keep plodding along, it was the only option. 

That decision was required, it was what was needed. What happened next looks like we made the *wrong decision, but it was the best decision, really the only one that could have been made given what we were working with. 

The beauty of hindsight is that now we are in a different state, but similar decision making requirements. We now have a remote job, we might be starting from zero (or negative) but possibility is everything. Given that, our ability now to make choices feels more like a privilege. 

Skip forward to the present moment, there’s now multiple trips to the doctor for strange symptoms of non-Covid sickness, amazed we can have just basic viruses that aren’t as life threatening, puzzles our 2022 mindset. To get home to Haines, Alaska is never an easy feat for anyone, it deserves its own Facebook page. But here we are again except this time we do have a choice. So, we chose the divine feminine. 

What does that mean?

It means we didn’t torture ourselves of ‘trying’ so hard to make it work when things didn’t seem to be working according to plan. We threw all those eggs in one basket and didn’t plan what to do with them. We listened. Even when there was no feedback. We radically CHOSE happiness without tangibility. We didn’t get anything….yet to validate this choice, we just said, ‘luck it’. This is what comes from complete demolition of the ego, rogue spiritual behavior. 

And in this long moment, my son was playing Roblox online with his BFF in Haines, AK while here in Florida and I over hear him say, “hey, we’re going to be home soon” and then he regurgitates my reply to him, “oh, whoops no we’re not.” I forgot to tell my son, that we’re not going *home right now. The irony of this is astounding. It’s just that, not a big deal. 

This is the divine feminine. 

Letting her lead. 

I’ve now met her. And I think she’s me.

I AM…,
Vanessa Wishstar
Psychic Spiritualist, Writer, & Spirit Guide

Bio: I am a seafull of mountains always seeking the truth, a mystic-called dragon, a psychic phenomena(l) goddess who births stars and makes wishes on their dust. I just love being me. And you being you.

I live in remote, pristine, Alaska and also the regenerative healing waters of Florida, discovering how life is meant to be loved. My husband and two children are my entire universe in which we frolic about, living out this dream. “Live on purpose”, I say!

Vanessa Wishstar, Psychic Medium, Spirit Guide, Supernatural Writer