Me. Now.

I feel a little strange.

As if I were thawing out. 

I don’t know who I am when I meet another. 

I can’t fit into my past life, as if my clothes don’t work for me anymore. 

I thought I was fine, until I open my eyes and see what they see. 

Am I crazy?

I can’t relate…to anyone. 

Nothing little exists. It’s all ‘biggies’ it feels, nowadays.

Where am I in this space? 

I just want to move – inside of it. 

All warm and comfy, my sacred union with myself letting down the curtains of my mind. Desiring a long intermission. I want snacks but with no company. I want to lick the salt off my fingers no matter if it’s from the food or my tears. 

I want to exist in space. And the only way I know how, is to be in my own space. Yet, I have nothing that I own. Even my space. 

I want a balcony. 

I want grass, snow, yard space.

I want my feet to be bare and choose their own choices instead of ruled by concrete and rubber. 

And someday, I will have this. 

And will I then want what I had? 

Will I miss the space in which I could touch everything at once?

Will I miss the proximity to convenience?  

Will I miss the faces and daily conversations regardless of if we wanted it?

Will I miss, saying, “I’ll be there in 30 seconds” and it’s true?


My highest good and suffering play their parts. I play an emerging participant being led by the great divine, while silently screaming. 

And then I accept, “I need to be and have my own space”. 

I’m eager for my own reunion of one.

Vanessa Wishstar

Bio: I am a seafull of mountains always seeking the truth, a mystic-called dragon, a psychic phenomena(l) goddess who births stars and makes wishes on their dust. I just love being me. And you being you.

I live in remote, pristine, Alaska and also the regenerative healing waters of Florida, discovering how life is meant to be loved. My husband and two children are my entire universe in which we frolic about, living out this dream. “Live on purpose”, I say!

Vanessa Wishstar, Psychic Medium, Spirit Guide, Supernatural Writer